Written by EdHopper
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06 June 2009
Since I was 12-years-old I have had some sort of mental tic or anxiety that cries out for the soothing relief of a compulsive thought, repeated phrase or outright ritual. It all began with an irrational fear of becoming homosexual in the sixth grade. From there it transformed into worries about turning into a serial killer or some other vile character. By the time high school came around the thoughts were fixated on misfortune caused by my failure to tap a table or surface or cu
t through the kitchen at a 90 degree angle right in front of my family's dishwasher. In college the thoughts became even more strange, absorbed with religious, philosophical and scientific questions.
It wasn't until a decade after the symptoms began in which I even knew for sure that what I was dealing with was not about the importance of particular distressing thoughts. Rather, it was with a quirk of brain chemistry and electric wiring that at least three percent of the world has: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Up to this point OCD has probably been the only particularly debilitating thing in my life. Combined with it's cousin Panic disorder, it's wreaked a bit of havoc during my early and mid-20's. I have no doubt that I will always have this disorder, as it is hardwired into the brain. It has taken years to realize how bizarre I've behaved with it in the past and how draining and alienating it can become. Nevertheless, I still can have a sense of humor about the strange brain tic that has bothered me since the early 90s.
I was very pleased last week with the premiere of A&E's Obsessed, a reality show that details the treatment plans of people suffering from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, the type that doubtless alienates many people. Obsessed dealt with the disorder in a decent, humane and unexploitive way that may possibly help some people out there suffering from far worse OCD than I could ever imagine get some help with it.