Written by Smokey McTrees
| 21 June 2009
The Elite 8 had a couple powerful matchups. Fruity Pebbles came from behind to topple Fruit Loops by taking 56.25% of the votes. Cinnamon Toast Crunch had the biggest victory in the Elite 8 by taking 83.33% of the votes over Honey Nut Cheerios. The 2 remaining #1s both fell. We are now down to the final four cereals, vote now, vote often.
(7) Trix
"Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks!" Oh, sorry, I was just scolding LWN about his recent adventures with homeless guys in the park. Back to our pertinent topic at hand we have another cereal that has mutated over the years. But whereas Cocoa Puffs and Cookie Crisp got worse, this shit got BETTER. Some may disagree, but I personally feel the this cereal's evolution from bland rabbit-shit shaped fruit balls to full-blown super-sugary fruit shapes that color your milk pink was a wise move on General MIlls' part. That rabbit should fucking kill those asshole kids, though, and that's why we seeded this shit so low.
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(12) Fruity Pebbles
The holy grail of cereal for everybody under 25, and everyone over who smokes lots of weed, FPs have spun-off from The Flintstones into one of the tastiest fucking cereals ever invented. This, my friends, is the closest you can come to cereal tasting like candy without actually being candy. How can this shit even CLAIM to be good for you? As with it's African-American sibling, FPs are best when eaten box by whole box.
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(2) Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Another sleeper pick from the General Mills conference, Cinnamon Toast Crunch has potential. The cereal is popular enough to warrant a spin-off cereal (also found in this group). Theie mascot isnt the most recognizeable, but its passable. Look for Cinnamon Toast Crunch to come out playing and dont be surprised if they go deep in the field. Be wary of eating more then two bowls of this shit, though, as it can be TOO sweet and will make you feel weird and guilty after a while. SEE ALSO: Porn, Gay.
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While I cannot say I enjoy the taste of regular shredded mini-whates, I can confess to enjoying the frosted variety. the frosting is just right, and hits the spot. This cereal does fall under the "milky melt" syndrome, which means you have to hurry up and eat the shit before the milk melts all of the icing off.
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It's that time of year again when CEREAL must battle for breakfast table supremacy. Brackets will be formed. In-depth analysis of each head to head match-up will be given. A Champion will be crowned. Votes will be considered, but favorites will not always win; that's why we play the game. There are certain intangibles that cannot simply be measured on paper. We have recently learned that Colin Cowherd from ESPN has tackled this subject as well, however, we were disappointed at his lack of detail and presentation. Although his attempt is appreciated, some more thought is needed to determine how this might actually go down.
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