Bleachers College Sports College Football Week 11
| 12 November 2009
I'm glad I wasn't betting last week, otherwise I would have pissed money away more than usual. I don't even get paid really, I'm basically just a middle man who keeps the books for a really shitty business that can't turn a profit. This shitty business attempts to create new revenue streams, but usually just fucks up ruining the company because the owner is a moron who doesn't understand shit. I've gone back to the old picture because it's cooler.
Since I can't really bitch about not losing money last week, let's jump right into the news.
NEWS
1. He wasn't pumping gas, but....he was at a gas station.
Nu'Keese Richardson, Janzen Jackson, Mike Edwards and some busted chick were all arrested for sticking up some college students at a gas station with a pellet gun. Here's some funny tidbits:
1. They were wearing Tennessee football t-shirts under their dark clothes (found post arrest).
2. They didn't wear masks, and they were on the football of a team whose stadium holds over 100,000 fans, who could possibly recognize them?
3. They were trying to rob college kids, in 2009. Who carries cash ever? And to stick up a college kid is fucking stupid.
4. They had a Prius as the get away car. That's just comedy, they could have krept away silently if under 5 MPH, too bad this plan was foiled!
5. If you need money, just ask a booster, I'm sure you can find them late at night.
What was the plan here? My assumption is that they were looking for some quick cash to pick up a bag of week or some beers or something. Here's a brilliant fucking plan, let's stick some broke-ass dudes up with a weapon just to increase our potential jail time. Why not just ask the dudes for money, I bet they'd love to actually give the money to you because you have a recognizable face.......BECAUSE YOU PLAN ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM. I bet these victims would kill to give away money just to say, "I gave Nu'Keese Richardson money once!"
Stay tuned to for our next volume of Kiffin watch to see how the matter will be handled "internally" by the potentially retarded coach.
2. Michigan AD tells fans to be patient......OR ELSE.
Bill Martin is retirng soon, but he's also getting ornery and asking student workers "if they know who he is" when he refuses to show credentials. This is the shit I do to people because its funny, not because I'm serious. Now he tells Michigan fans to chill out about Rich Rod, because you know Rich Rod is really awesome (8-14 at Michigan). This seems like a kiss of death before Martin slinks off into the night to go ask more people if they know who he is in mean tone and some grabbing.
3. Notre Dame has called the whambulance.
Notre Dame coach Corwin Brown was talking shit about Navy, the Naval Academy. Specifically calling out Navy for their dirty blocking, and Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo for basically saying Navy knew that Notre Dame wouldn't make adjustments. Ok........Notre Dame.....bitching......to the media.......about losing to.........Navy. A new low in the Weis era. Brian Kelly is fucking thrilled right now.
4. It's firin' season
Smell you later:
Tommy West- Memphis
David Elston- Western Kentucky (got $500,000 to leave after 0 wins so far this year)
Who is next? I like Steve Kragthorpe if I were a betting man.
"MEIS-MAN" PICKS NO ONE WILL LIKE
Yes, that's a play on words. Eat shit voters.
I'm calling bullshit on the sportswriters because of they will no doubt select some terrible candidates for the Heisman. Considering the criteria is to "select the best player in football" here are my current favorites:
1. Case Keenum, QB, Houston: 325/458, 28TD, 5 INT, 3,815 yards passing, 
158.9 QB rating,3 rushing TD
Keenum is a total badass who has Houston at 8-1 with wins over Oklahoma State, Texas Tech, Mississippi State and Tulsa. If Keenum played for a team not in C-USA he'd already be invited to NYC.
2. Freddie Barnes, WR, Bowling Green: 117 catches, 1285 yards, 11.0 per catch, 14 total TDs
Having 117 catches in 10 games is sick, absolutely sick. These stats speak for themselves. If Barnes had 75% of these stats on a BCS team, he'd be in the hunt.
3. Kellen Moore, QB, Boise State: 181/268, 27 TD, 3 INT, 2,259 yards, 169.3 QB rating, 1 rushing TD
Boise is undefeated and the Sophomore QB and favorable schedule is a big part of it. Say what you will about the competition, but ask any coach about winning 9 in row. They will tell you its not easy.
4. Ryan Matthews, RB, Fresno State: 205 rush, 1,459 yards, 7.1 per carry, 14 TD, 112 yards receiving
Fresno always plays a tough schedule. He went for 234 against Boise, 145 against Cincinnati, and 107 against Wisconsin. Not too shabby.
BETS
1. Florida State +5 @ Wake Forest
Wake Forest cannot be trusted.
FSU 35- Wake 31
$25
2. Iowa +16.5 @ Ohio State
I know, I know Ricky Stanzi is out, but how can I not take this spread?
OSU 20- Iowa 14
$40
3. AND NOW FOR MY
Boston College -3.5 @ Virginia
I can't see Virginia even considering victory this weekend.
BC 42-UVA 17
$100
4. Florida - South Carolina OVER 42.5
I cannot resist, I simply cannot resist.
Florida 38 - SC 21
$50
RESULTS
2-2
18-20
$$ +215
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