Written by LWN | 30 January 2009

I haven’t been around much.  It’s probably because I was attempting to save a company that obviously did not want saving.  So in that time I, in essence wasted my hours so that I could hurry up and get unemployed.  I could have been blogging after all.

In the last week and a half, the most productive things I have done are the following……in no particular order.

I beat NES game Shingen the Ruler, conquering Asia once and for all.

 

If you aren’t familiar with the game, then you are a fool.   

Continuing with the NES theme, I am attempting to rush for over 4,000 yards with OJ Anderson of the New York Giants in Tecmo Superbowl.  After 7 games I have over 2,000 yards on the ground.  Baring injury, I am right on track.

I got to file unemployment, and will now make a whopping $275 a week until that runs out.  So let’s just call it a significant pay cut.

Played disc golf and stood in stagnant water to retrive an errant throw. 

Walked the dog more regularly and have picked up about 4,000 pounds of dog shit.

Steamed the kitchen floor and nearly passed out because I added some cleanser to the water creating toxic fumes.

I watched the snuggie blanket commercial endlessly and began to wonder, “if I started a cult which color snuggie would my followers wear?”

Got three free meals.

Bowl games:

I ended up going just under 50% on bowl games and decided not to wager on them after watching the games prior to xmas. 

It all started going downhill after BYU decided to lay a moron-sized fight club egg against an Arizona team that probably didn’t even deserve to be in a bowl game.

Southern Miss probably didn’t deserve to beat Troy, but did probably because they have a kicker on their team with the last name of “Barefoot”.  I’t like a book detective named “Bookman,” or an ice cream driver called “Cone.”  Plus there was a totally sweet play where a Southern Miss WR, who has legs as soft as Mike Sherrard shattered his leg somehow against the grass.

In probably the best bowl game match-up TCU proved they were totally legit this year by dispatching Boise State and their magic and trickery 17-16.  I still hate Gary Patterson’s strange 3-5-3 defense but it’s obvious he gets some athletes.

Did Jimmy Clauson come of age against Hawaii?  I certainly hope not, but if he did then he certainly will be dealt some massive, crushing defeats next season.  In the offseason I’m sure he’ll end up getting cited for underaged drinking again.  Also there was this.  Notre Dame is convinced that someone is out to “sabotage their recruiting efforts.”  Does anyone else see the humor in this?

In the Motor City Bowl Central Michigan coaches must have determined that using their most powerful offensive weapon would have been unfair?  Since they were determined not to let Dan LeFevour leave the pocket.

 Pat White led West Virginia to a victory over upstart North Carolina, but they didn’t cover the spread either.  Just like Troy, Boise State, Central Michigan, Hawaii etc.  I think Pat White should get a shot at NFL QB, but maybe that’s just me.  Someone with a sports background and no job.

In the Champs Sports Bowl, Wisconsin proved they will never be a great team unless they embrace speed, as they got waxed by a Florida State team that only has talent but no idea what “team” means.

Cal beat Miami, but I’m honestly shocked it was as close as the score would indicate.  You see LWN had inside info from people about the whole Robert Marve situation before it unraveled.  Apparently, Miami players really, really wanted Jacory Harris to be their quarterback.  They’d go as far as to drop balls IN GAMES ON PURPOSE to prove their point.  *Recruiting note-  Don’t ever take an entire senior class from one school, regardless of their talent level.

Things got funnier when Miami told Marve where he couldn’t transfer to……Oddly enough, they won’t allow him to go to the teams that tampered with him.  Maybe he’ll end up at USF.  We’ll see though.

In any event it was hilarious to watch this game in a bar, while paying closer attention to the UFC fights on that night.  LabBoy was in conversation with a female LSU fan who was probably the most annoying person I met in 2008, most certainly the most annoying in December of 2008.  She ended up going home with a firefighter.

Northern Illinois looked like dogs playing a shitty Louisiana Tech team in Shreveport.  Hopefully they didn’t get shanked on their way out of the stadium as Shreveport is one of the most dangerous places I have ever been.

Rutgers won, against NC State and their 7 QB rotation.  Yawn.

Missouri showed me that they were in fact one of the most unimpressive teams of the 2008 season by needed overtime to beat Northwestern.  With that much offense, there is no way they game should have been close.  Good luck Chase Daniel, good luck.

17, maybe 18 Maryland fans made the trip to Boise to see their team defeat Nevada in the Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl.  If there was one team I would not bet on or against this past season it was definately Maryland.

Western Michigan proved the MAC didn’t deserve more bowl bids by getting rocked by Rice, the school with smart kids.

Oregon and their bruising QB Jeremiah Masoli dispatched Oklahoma State who looked to be a good team.  I don’t get bowl season at all.  Hey, Oregon can we now say you will challenge for the PAC 10 crown again next season, then you can let everyone down again?  Ding, Ding……here comes the hypemobile.

In the Bell Helicopter’s we love George Bush Bowl, Houston took care of Air Force, but I thought they might lay 60 on AF instead of a mere 34.

Fans were treated to an absolute shit-fest in El Paso at the Brut Sun Bowl.  Oregon State eeked out the 3-0 victory, the Beavers who was one useless loss away from winning the PAC-10 won a 3-0 game against a middle of the road Big East team.  HOLLER!

I was somewhat perplexed by Boston College’s 16-14 loss to Vanderbilt, who incidently played like a crumbling house of cards on fire down the stretch this season.  I wonder if/what effect this had on Jeff Jagodzinski’s decision to interview for NFL teams then get fired.  That whole situation is still strange to me.

If Kansas beats Minnesota in the insight.com bowl and it’s on the NFL Network, does anyone notice?

SEC fans rejoiced in boisterous fashion championing their league……as usual because LSU fucking rolled Georgia Tech making Paul Johnson’s option look like an outdated offense.

Iowa notched the Big Ten’s ONLY win this bowl season when they defeated South Carolina in the Outback bowl.  It was probably a case of too many bloomin’ onions for the Ole Ball Coaches’ team.

Apparently Nebraska went to a bowl game……and won, defeating this year’s most disappointing team….Clemson.

Georgia beat Michigan State and no one was surprised.

I have a friend, we will call him Kaplan572, he’s a Penn State man who was enraged when it looked like Oregon State was going to play Penn State in the Rose Bowl.  He said they had nothing to win by playing the game.  Well, do you feel better now?

Why didn’t I place imaginary wagers this bowl season?  Because Ole Miss beat up on Texas Tech……That’s why.

How does Cincinatti score on the first posession then get shut out by Virginia Tech the rest of the way?

Alabama fans were served a warm glass of ”shut the hell up” when they got totally demolished by a Utah team that has a gripe against the BCS.  If you play in a BCS game, are undefeated and win, including road wins over ranked teams, maybe you should be the National Champ.  That’s all I’m saying.

The UConn - Buffalo matchup was closer than you think.  Even though I dropped about 100 bucks on beer, I recall UB nearly scoring a TD late in the game which would have made it a 1 posession game, but instead the ball bounced off a receiver into the defender’s arms and he took it 500 yards for a score.  Then again, UConn was by far the better team on this day. 

Ohio State actually showed up for a bowl game against a better team, which was odd.  But left too much time for Texas……Thinking back, this game ended up proving nothing.  Why was Ohio State even playing in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl?

Ball State really spiralled out of control after losing to Buffalo, to the point where their fans began bitching about how they were the “real” MAC champs because their record was better than Buffalo……even though the game was played on a neutral field and Ball State LOST.  Tulsa really handed it to them.

As for Oklahoma, what in the hell were they doing running sets from under center?  They didn’t do it all season, but when the fake national championship was on the line they went to it regularly.  Tebow obviously channelled the power of his lord and took the game over.  Another note, Urban Meyer certainly beleives that speed kills.  That was on display on both sides of the ball and special teams in the national championship game.