| 07 May 2009
I've got a ton of bullshit on my mind recently. None of it has any value in "real world" applications, but considering the fact that the two best job opportunities I have are a job that won't pay me a salary and something that seems not to be on the up and up, well I've got a lot of time on my hands.
1. Lane Mother Fucking Kiffin
His most two recent errors- admitting he called a recruit after they had signed a letter of intent....to the press corps no less (violation), and now Kiffin has signed a convicted rapist to join the Tennessee Volunteers football team (questionable judgement). Rocky Top indeed! Do you think the gentleman in question, Daniel Hood will have to register as a sex offender on campus? Here's an expert from the article Lab Boy found. "Hood and his friend, Robert Sanico, placed duct tape over 70 percent of the victim's body and used a plunger and cellophane in the attack." As Lab Boy put it, "On his behalf, technically he didn't rape his cousin, the toilet plunger did."
Granted, Hodd was 13 at the time, but Lane Kiffin is proving to be the most unqualified coach in the country. Oh right, I forgot to mention Hood was convicted of raping his cousin.
2. Domino's Pasta Bread Bowls
What........the........fuck? For those who are concerned that they are not getting enough carbs in their diet. Do I choose the chicken alfredo, primavera, mac and cheese, Italian sausage marinara, or chicken carbonera? So, I eat the pasta which is cooked ahead of time since Domino's doesn't have a stove in any restaurant, then I eat the bowl for some reason after it comes out of the oven? Did some college kids get high and pitch this idea? This sounds like the dumbest idea I have seen from a restaurant since McDonalds had the McRib sandwich.
3. Favre to the Vikings?
Drew from Kissing Suzy Kolber is not thrilled about this. If Favre does come back, who in the hell still cares? How can the media even pump this up any more than it did last year? Who gives a shit about a guy who might be able to play quarterback okay for 5-6 games out of the season? Jason Campbell can even do that after all. I really hope the Vikings sign Captain Heave-Ho!
4. Chelsea- Barcelona
Yesterday, in the 93rd minute of Chelsea- Barcelona game, I was one of a handful of Americans who watched Andres Iniesta score the goal that propelled Barca past a pesky Chelsea side that seemingly had the game won. To make matters more interesting, Chelsea moved the ball down the field and had a decent shot on goal after the Iniesta score. This was all in penalty time too folks. Soccer is exciting after all. You just need to be home at like 2-4pm on weekdays to catch the action on ESPN Ocho. Watch the video and see the look of massive, crushing defeat on the face of the Chelsea defenders.
Oh, also Barcelona was down a man and this put them in the Champions League final. If that isn't enough excitement for you, Chelsea player Didier Drogba had a post match confrontation with a referee and then went into a foul mouth rant post game! What's not to love? Futbol excitement......Catch it!
One final note, if I ever see this CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPIOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS commerical again, it will be too soon. It's worse than the John Mellencamp Chevy commericals run this past football season. The next time I see it, I might go all Drogba on people.
5. Textsfromlastnight.com
Somewhat clever, might be true, might be fake. Apparently, you can text the area code and the message itself to this site and they post it for humor purposes. Here is the best one I saw:
"(917): i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany"
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