| 20 April 2009
A close friend from my childhood days had this interesting dynamic; a strict clergyman for a father, his parents' messy divorce, low self-esteem and a drug problem. And all that before the age of 16. Therefore, it's only logical that he would end up joining an austere, throw-back Bible cult that forces its members to live in near poverty, toiling away making soap and adopting ancient Hebrew names while advocating disciplining one's children with a stick. Makes sense to me.
I haven't spoken to him in several years. Although I was happy for his sobriety, it was clear that he wanted me to visit his compound and have me join up with all the ex-hippie members who were also turning over .95 cents on the dollar to a far away leader. A charismatic leader who just happened have forsaken the ascetic life of rising early each day to bake bread, build furniture and make juice to live in the French Riviera while others labored day and night.
As of this day, I'm not quite sure what has become my old dear friend. The last I heard from him he'd invited a brother of mine and I to his wedding, held at a VFW. I think he'd changed his name to Amos or Enoch or Ham. If I know him and cult memberships as well as I think I do, it will end badly if it hasn't already. Most people leave their cult, but by the time they've left the destructive organization, they bear deep scars. Having likely shunned family members, dropped out of professional life or gone insane from years of mental torture and surveillance, getting back to normal is a tremendous task. It's really very sad
Cults are an intriguing phenomenon that deserve a psychological interpretation that I can hardly provide. A person must literally give up everything and proclaim unbending allegiance and service to a charismatic god-man who is really nothing more than a narcissistic and paranoid control freak. To everyone else it's obvious that cult leaders, like the notorious Jim Jones of the Peoples Temple or Marshall Applewhite who shepherded the Heavens Gate cult members to cut off their balls and commit mass suicide, are nuts. But to those on the inside, these are figures of tremendous world-changing importance. Whereas us on the outside don't see how anyone could follow a guy in flowing robes who demands the right to fuck your wife on an appointed night, cult members take it as granted that they must
submit to the whims of their master. There's a lot of mental baggage that goes into being a cult member; self-loathing, codependence, depression and anxiety to name a few. But what about the cult leaders? What makes them so influential and why are they not devoting their time as leaders in finance, education or entertainment? Who knows. I certainly don't
Regardless, I have compiled four notable cult leaders out there today. These are interesting folks who I think we can learn a lot from: who I think are the top five most notable, cutting edge cult leaders out there today.
1. David Miscavige, 48, Defacto head of the Church of Scientology
Behind the glitz and glamour of big ticket scientologists like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley is this not-so-well-known puppet master. As chairman of the Religious Technology Center (which among other things holds the trademarks on Dianetics literature and those neat e-meter devices), Miscavige is the most powerful man in this unique and bizarre destructive cult. He makes big money off of every sucker who signs up for a Dianetics course and was the wizard behind convincing the IRS to ov
erturn it's three-decades refusal to grant the church a tax exempt status. And while few people outside of the organization know who he is, Miscavige is undoubtedly the one who holds the cards as well as the information on anyone foolish enough to spill his or her secrets to a scientology minister during an auditing session (just in case you didn't know, they write everything down).
Miscavige reportedly lives in a compound in Southern California and has the ability to shakedown stars for big bucks (perhaps by threatening them with secret dossiers). Rumors abound that Miscavige has files detailing the personal homosexual lives of Cruise and Travolta, thus locking them into allegiance to the cult--but of course that is just a rumor (You can't believe everything that's probably true). The great tragedy is that while the Church of Scientology and it's deceased science fiction writer/con artist founder Lafayette Ron Hubbard are generally scoffed at derided because of the religion's incredibly bizarre teachings, there are thousands of people who show up each year for auditing, only to become locked in a bizarre and psychologically manipulative cult. It may be funny that there are people out there foolish enough to believe in crazy things like body thetans, e-meters and the intergalactic dictator Xenu. The sad thing is that it comes with such a huge price, a sum paid to David Miscavige, who by the way will direct his church to sue the pants off critics and former members who attempt to shed light on the operation. Still, Miscavige's reach and control are incredibly impressive given how little the average person knows about him and the fact that he elevated himself to such a lofty post at such a young age (he was in his 20's at the time).
2. Fred Phelps, 79, pastor, Westboro Baptist Church (Topeka, KS)
Any man who can severely beat, humiliate and emotionally abuse his 13 children and yet still have nine of them demonstrate unbending loyalty to him must have incredible powers of persuasion and control. Phelps, the patriarch of a small, unaffiliated church comprised almost solely of his kin, may have at best 70 congregants, but has managed to get his operation international recognition most organizations would kill for. More than any other cult member detailed here, I believe Phelps could convince his followers to kill for him if he was so inclined. Instead, his organization has eschewed the sword for the sign, handbill and mass email.
Phelps is a disbarred lawyer with pathological anger problems. He carved out a name for his movement in the nineties by publicly proclaiming that murdered gay college student Matthew Shepherd was burning in hell, picketing his funeral and proclaiming "God Hates Fags". Since then, Westboro Baptist Church has pushed larger envelopes by protesting the funerals of American military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and preaching that "God Hates the Troops". Although his daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper handles the day-to-day media operations of the church, she, like his other children clearly take their marching orders from "Gramps". Footage of Phelps' sermons attest to his insatiable anger and cruelty (not to mention the fact that the man is absolutely fucking bat shit crazy). As BBC filmmaker Louis Theroux points out, more than anything theological, Phelps just needs to 
let loose on someone or something. Homosexuals have been his primary target, though he does save a little for Catholics, Jews and "fag enablers".
Phelps does it all by proxy, dispatching his children and grandchildren to far flung street corners to wave placards bearing such wisdom as "God Hates You", "America is Doomed" and "Fags Eat Poop". There is absolutely no way that anyone under Phelps' thumb can live a healthy or normal life as they attract such negative attention. And yet they still picket all over the place on a weekly basis, spreading their gospel of negativity and hatred. In recent years they've taken to provoking onlookers by attaching American flags to their feet and stomping on them. Hordes of counter demonstrators (who really need to find something better to do) show up and give the WBC a forum. As I said earlier, Phelps' control over his clan is impressive. But what's more impressive still is that this crazy old man, who on first appearance seems dumber than a sack of hammers, is able to make his small creepy church into a media sensation. The WBC Web site is as organized and colorful as any corporation's, with archived rant-sermons and even music videos that are pretty funny to watch.
3. Elbert Eugene Spriggs, a.k.a. "Yoneq", founder and prophet, Twelve Tribes of
Israel
What is it that makes some people think the best way to prove one's fidelity to God is by beating their kids? If getting good with the Almighty can be won by spreading the Gospel of the Switch then Spriggs is certainly at the right hand of the Father. The Tennessee-born prophet founded the Twelve Tribes of Israel movement more than thirty years ago as a means of getting closer to God by living like the ancient Israelites. Members are required to give up all of their possessions and live communally. The organization seeks recruits from the ranks of vulnerable hippies, appealing to a sense of collective living and eco-friendly existence. Men are required to grow beards and tie their hair back. Women are mandated to look only a little bit less like Chewbacca than their husbands. The Twelve Tribes operate cottage industries making soaps, lotions, natural foods and operating cafes where they often lure in members. The Tribes also operate more lucrative businesses including furniture making and construction.
Spriggs looks mo
re like a kindly wood shop teacher than a religious fanatic who believes in using a wooden stick to teach your kid a lesson. Of its 2,500 members, more than half are children who are by spiritual discipline forbidden to play with toys, watch TV or have a Starburst. So important is disciplining children to Spriggs that he has publicly advocated spanking. Spriggs explains on his group's Web site his fond memories of corporal punishment at the hands of three special high school teachers:
"They'd tell me to bend over and I'd bend over and they'd give me a few whacks...And I got to love those people more than anyone in the school, those who spanked me...Even sometimes I may not have done it, but I still loved them anyway and took it."
Such a stringent emphasis on physical interventions has naturally lead to incidents of child abuse in Tribes communities located throughout the world. And the abuse doesn't stop with mere beatings, but also in the realm of child labor violations. But of course having the children of disaffected Deadheads working long hours is necessary if you're a cult leader is to afford his lavish life of travel and accoutrements.
4. José Luis De Jesus Miranda, 63, founder and prophet, Creciendo en Gracia and self-proclaimed Jesus and Antichrist
If I were to tell you to tattoo 666 in your arm, hand me a pile of cash and treat me as you would the Son of God himself, you'd probably tell me to fuck myself. When José Luis De Jesus Miranda (or JoLu as I call him) says it, his followers shout 'hallelujah'.
There's either two possibilities with Miranda; 1. He's either a complete psychopathic charlatan or 2. He is indeed Jesus Christ (oh, and the Antichrist, too). I'm gonna err on the side of caution and regard him as a malignant narcissist, but no worries for Miranda, he doesn't need what little money I have. Miranda's followers - who can be found throughout Latin American communities inside and outside of the U.S. - have showered him with millions of dollars, providing for him a luxurious existence complete with expensive suits, cars and vacations. Not so bad for a one-time felon and heroin addict from Puerto Rico who only happened to find out he was also Jesus Christ when he was 27-years-old. Along his path of discovery, he's managed to forget Jesus told him he was the Christ, confuse himself with St. Paul and then remember Jesus told him he was the Christ. JoLu's followers rejoice in his having rejected orthodox notions of sin and hell.
JoLu is about a creepy as you would think the Antichrist would be. That is until you consider what JoLu says about the Antichrist, which is that he's not such a bad guy really, just has an unfortunate name. And not to worry, remember he's also Jesus, so you really get the good with the bad.
In addition to sharing their earnings with their megalomaniacal leader, Creciendo en Gracia (Growing in Grace) members are also encouraged to picket Catholic and Pro
testant churches to let parishioners know they are following false teachings. The cash-grabbing, Rolex-donning god-man has yet to display any supernatural powers like resurrecting the dead, healing the sick or even levitating a book. He does however have an interesting ability to attract cash and gifts and break families apart, which is pretty impressive. Still, lacking any supernatural punch like the ability to ward off bullets, Miranda has quite an impressive set of professional bodyguards who cover him from event-to-event.
Miranda seems to be a made for movie type of figure. If he does turn out to be the Christ, well be that as it may. If not, a lot of people will just be really broke. Either way, if someone buys the rights to the movie, they could probably get Paul Rodriguez to play the part.
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