| 02 April 2009
Coffee is life juice. It's the giver of caffeine. It's the supplier of unrelenting satisfaction that emboldens even the unemboldenable. I'm not talking about the creamy sugary treat, nor am I speaking of the cold watered down refresher or the artificially flavored delight. No, I'm talking about the hot, steamy, harsh brew, of the dried, ripe, ragged coffee bean. Bonus for the thick natural oil slick coating on top.
Move out of the way lattes, frappuccinos, and hazelnut madness. You don't even deserve the name that is coffee. You're not going to be ok with someone pouring whipped cream, cinnamon, or ice cream on the top of your favorite, cold, delicious brew of hops and barley. I'd like to see them try to pass it off as a beer; I didn't think so. So stay the fuck away from my drink.
As with any naturally derived food stuff, coffee is served best in its purest form. Hot, Thick, Dark, and Greasy. You want some flavor? Try some Kopi Luwak, a bean developed by the Asia
n Palm Civet. This Asian weasel instinctively picks only the best and ripest coffee berries and agreeably passes it thru its digestive track to cure the delectable beans within. That's right, if you want a new flavor, sip on this weasels feces. Otherwise, take it as is and stop screwing with perfection.
As the ancient philosopher Davidious Kaplandious once said "As the sun illuminates the moon, the coffee enlightens the soul" and "Where once there was darkness, now there is Coffee".
Furthermore coffee reduces the risk of death. Thanks to www.coffeebreak.today.com for this invigorating list:
13 reasons to drink Coffee
- Coffee may reduce the memory losses associated with age in women. (Karen Ritchie, French National Institute for Health and Medical Research, Montpelier, France 2007 American Academy of Neurology)
- Coffee may reduce the risk of stroke in men who smoke by as much as 23%. (Stroke, June 2008)
- Coffee seems to reduce the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes. (2004, Harvard/Brigham & Women's Hospital, Annals of Internal Medicine)
- People who drink 2 cups of coffee or more per day have less risk of developing high blood pressure.
- Men who drink four or more cups of coffee per day reduce their chance of developing gout by 59%. (Hyon K. Choi, Harvard, Arthritis Research Centre of Canada, University of British Columbia in Canada)
- Coffee may help fight cancer. Chemical analysis shows that freshly brewed coffee contains the same amount of antioxidants as three oranges.
- Coffee seems to reduce the risk of ovarian cancer (January 2008).
- Women who drink 2-3 cups of coffee per day are 25% less likely to die of heart disease than women who don't drink coffee. (Garcia-Lopez, Universidad Autonoma de Madrid, 2008 , Annals of Internal Medicine)
- Women who drink 2-3 cups of coffee per day are 18% less likely to die of any cause during middle age. Yes, the study headline read "Coffee Reduces Risk of Death". (Garcia-Lopez, Universidad Autonoma de Madrid, 2008, Annals of Internal Medicine)
- Men who drink at least 2 cups of coffee a day reduce their risk of developing gallstones by 40%.
- Athletes who drink coffee two hours before an event improved their cycling and marathon trial times significantly.
- Athletes who drink coffee also recover glycogen faster after vigorous exercise. (Pederson et al., American Physiological Society, Journal of Applied Physiology)
- The best reason of all to drink coffee - the taste!
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