| 13 April 2009
Today is another day, they say. Well, so was yesterday, and the day before that, and yes, the day before that too. At the beginning of your unemployment freedom, standards are high, opportunity and hope are abound, when you get your first interview in a week you're beaming. This isn't so hard, it's been no time at all and already people are blowing up your cell phone like it's going out of style. I'm here, I'm ready, and I can do your job, no problem. Man, this is exciting. Time to get the old suit cleaned and pressed, get a haircut and blow your mind. "I'm really interested in your company", "I'm full of great ideas to improve your business", "I'm a really hard worker and I can't wait to get going" ...look at me, I'm so fresh and so clean and I'm even wearing this fine monkey suit and these glasses just so you can see how worthy I am. What do you want to hear from me? I'll say it, I promise. My one purpose in life is to make you happy Mr. Hiring Manager. Just tell me how you like it.
There's nothing better than walking out of an interview you know went virtually perfect. It keeps your spirits high for at least 1.5 days. Not too much later though your hopes are dashed, and back to reality you go. Why haven't I got an offer yet? Oh yeah, I remember, I'm just one of the 34,000 people you interviewed that day and at least half of them are probably perfect for the job, just like I was. Where did I go wrong? That's always the question, time to analyze every answer of every question asked. I'm sure if I answered this one thing just a little different I would have got that job... yeah right. Probably my least favorite interview question always seems to be "What are your salary expectations". It seems like a simple question, but is it really? If you want too much, you're greedy and you immediately price yourself out of the job. If you want too little, it probably means you're not really qualified. If you say "Hey I just want a fair offer", it probably means that you either have no idea what this job pays or that you're just desperate and willing to take whatever they offer. I've determined it's just an impossible question, with no right answer and a million wrong ones. Listen people, you know what you are willing to pay me, just tell me and all the problems will be solved. Obviously I want as much money as possible and you want to give me less than that.
Unemployment: It's like college all over again. Sure, college was fun and educational with zero responsibility, but in the words of my drunken friend, "when you're in college you're worthless, you have little worth". These words still ring true today, and insanity is constantly knocking at the door. Come in insanity, you're welcome here. There's nothing more incriminating, then learning the fact that education and experience simultaneously over and under qualify you for any job known to man. I'm no longer qualified to work at 7/11, I'm no longer qualified for entry level positions, I'm not eligible to be hired as a middle manager, no "we hire those positions internally from our entry level training program", I'm not qualified to be a VP in charge of middle managers, no "you've never done that before".
Well I sure hope I'm qualified to watch television, drink, play trivia, eat crappy food, engage in video games, smoke cigars, blog, and browse the internet... because like it or not that's what I'm doing. It does offer a bit of freedom however, I can sleep when I want, wake up when I please, sit around in my underwear on a rainy day, and even just wander through the streets at my own accord. Yeah, it's not so bad, I ordered MLB.TV today, there's a highlight. I can now watch the Cubs, 162 games deep. I mean look at all the learning I can do, I can spend my days reading articles, keeping up with the news, and analyzing my poo for fiber content. Why not, I've got the time.
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Comments (7)
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i just have to say
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BTW does anyone know of a beer cheaper than Genesse?
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